What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
