Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
