Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
