I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Randomize
