I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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