So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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