yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
