just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
