at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
