Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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