I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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