I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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