do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
