who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
