you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
