Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
