I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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