It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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