You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
