a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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