but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
