This girl is more easily done than said...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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