Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
