whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
