the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sex in a hospital.. check
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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