Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
