yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
