..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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