Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my sisters under your porch take her home
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
