Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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