There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
