Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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