Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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