I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
