what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
