All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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