I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
