you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
