I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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