The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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