Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
