Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
