Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
