i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
