I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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