Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
