Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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