but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
two words: eviction party
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
