i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
