the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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