Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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