is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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